Disclaimer

If you do not know me (I mean, really know me) then there is something you need to understand before you read this blog: I value the truth above everything else... except a good laugh. A good laugh will almost always beat the truth as far as I’m concerned. Everything you read on this blog will be true, somewhat true, or something I made up in an effort to get a laugh. Sometimes I will go on a rant that I don’t really mean (or only kind of mean). Sometimes I will mean what I write only to completely change my mind a year, month, or day later. Such is life. By reading this blog you agree not to get offended by anything I write (or, at the very least, you agree not to tell me or anyone else that you are offended). It is worth noting that my employer does not endorse my blog (or even read it, to tell you the truth). The Wife also does not endorse my blog (though she will read it from time to time). I am not paid to write this... it’s just my way of giving back to the community. I have, and will, touch on a wide range of subjects and will give my opinion on these subjects. Again, most of what I say is for laughs but every now and then I will say what I really think and feel (see my views on Westboro Baptist Cult). How will you know when I’m serious and when I’m trying to get a laugh? You’ll know. And if you don’t know, well... maybe this isn’t the best thing for you to be reading. So, sit back, read and enjoy. Leave comments if you want and don’t be afraid to publicly follow me.



Wednesday, August 4, 2010

My Funeral.... Let's set a record!

With all that was going on last week, it was hard for me not to think about how I’d like my funeral to be. Of course I realize that my funeral will be however The Wife wants it to be... but I know you, my friends and followers, want to know what I’d like... so here it is.

Let me start by saying I don’t know what the record for the longest funeral at Bethany United Methodist Church is, but I know I want to hold that record one day. I would like for it to be in Fellowship Hall so people can eat and drink during the service (plus restrooms are right outside in the hallway). I would like to have a trifecta of preachers (Will, Jenn & Ross) running the show. Of course, if my good friend Jamin would be so kind as to handle the music I would be very appreciative. I have songs and Bible verses I would like included (which I’ll get to in a minute) but I would like a large portion of the day/night spent telling stories about me. Not stories about what I great guy I am (we’ll be in church, after all... so I won’t ask you to out-right lie) but I’d like for friends and family to get up and tell funny stories. I was talking about this with Sonny the other day.... he seemed to get it. I want funny stories told... I’d like for the stories to be about me, but if that’s not possible, I’d be fine with people just telling a funny story and “photo shopping” me into the story. Of course, I trust the songs, verses and preachers will throughout the day/night remind people how much God blessed me all my life because I feel that’s important. I want mine to be a funeral where people laugh so hard that they cry and then they cry so hard that they laugh. Between family and friends, I think there should be some good stories. Feel free to make fun of me... and even more important, feel free to laugh if someone else is making fun of me. I won’t mind... and let’s face it, even if I did mind I’ll be dead so do it anyway. If I happen to be buried on the day of a big game, feel free to have a TV on during the service (but you should probably turn it off during the songs and Bible reading). Just remember, you can't spell funeral without "FUN".

As for the songs, I would like to start the service with AC/DC’s Highway to Hell. HA! Just kidding! (I hope). Really, I’d like to start with A Dying Cub Fan’s Last Request. Sure, it isn’t a “church” song... but it’s pretty funny and I think it’d help get things started the right way. The order of things isn’t all that important, but off the top of my head I’d like it to look something like this:

A Dying Cub Fan’s Last Request
Greetings/Prayer
John 14:1-4 (New King James Version)
Preacher
Old Rugged Cross
Open Mic
Psalm 23 (King James Version)
Preacher
How Great Thou Art
Open Mic
1 Corinthians 13 (New International Version) (***NOTE: This might come as a shock to some of you, but I really love this passage. I especially love verse 13:13, but I think all of it is great. I know it’s considered more of a “Wedding” passage but I think it would be nice to have it read at a happy event as well).
Preacher
Love Lifted Me
Open Mic
Ephesians 6:10-18 (NIV)
Onward Christian Soldiers
Open Mic
2 Timothy 4:6-8 (NIV)
Because He Lives
Open Mic
James 1:13-15
It Is Well With My Soul
Open Mic
Revelation 22:21
In The Garden
Closing/Prayer
I’ll Fly Away
Swing Down Sweet Chariot
All Because of Jesus
Just A Closer Walk With Thee
Goodbye

(Maybe for these final songs it would be good to just sing the first verse. All other songs should be the first and last verse).

So there you have it. I don’t want to micro-manage the whole thing, but it would probably be good to have it start early. I would also make the dress casual. People are going to be there a long time... so there’s no use being uncomfortable.


Know Your Medal of Honor Recipient: Private James F. Adams (U.S. Army) received the Medal of Honor for his capture of the State flag of 14th Virginia Cavalry (C.S.A.) at Nineveh, VA on the 12th of November 1864.

No comments:

Post a Comment