Disclaimer

If you do not know me (I mean, really know me) then there is something you need to understand before you read this blog: I value the truth above everything else... except a good laugh. A good laugh will almost always beat the truth as far as I’m concerned. Everything you read on this blog will be true, somewhat true, or something I made up in an effort to get a laugh. Sometimes I will go on a rant that I don’t really mean (or only kind of mean). Sometimes I will mean what I write only to completely change my mind a year, month, or day later. Such is life. By reading this blog you agree not to get offended by anything I write (or, at the very least, you agree not to tell me or anyone else that you are offended). It is worth noting that my employer does not endorse my blog (or even read it, to tell you the truth). The Wife also does not endorse my blog (though she will read it from time to time). I am not paid to write this... it’s just my way of giving back to the community. I have, and will, touch on a wide range of subjects and will give my opinion on these subjects. Again, most of what I say is for laughs but every now and then I will say what I really think and feel (see my views on Westboro Baptist Cult). How will you know when I’m serious and when I’m trying to get a laugh? You’ll know. And if you don’t know, well... maybe this isn’t the best thing for you to be reading. So, sit back, read and enjoy. Leave comments if you want and don’t be afraid to publicly follow me.



Saturday, April 30, 2011

HAPPY BIRTHDAY Sonny and Minde!!!!!!

Let me start by wishing my friend Minde (who probably doesn’t read my blog) a very happy birthday. As you may remember from reading on Our Life, Minde forced her husband (one of Delta’s top up-and-coming young pilots) to help her at the prom (Minde is a teacher… not some weirdo woman who just likes to hang out at proms… at least I’m pretty sure she’s a teacher… you know what, maybe I shouldn’t speak for her). Anyway, rumor has it that her husband (let’s call him Travis) kept complaining and saying he didn’t want to be there and so finally Minde said, “Listen you SOB! The only way you’re getting out of here is if you slice your hand open and have to be rushed to the ER!” One minute later he tried to see if breaking a glass vase could slice his hand (it did)… earning him a Get Out of Prom Free card. We hope he doesn’t try to use this “I cut my hand helping you” excuse to try and get out of doing something nice for Minde today.

Happy Birthday also to my big brother, Sonny. He turns 41 today. One thing Sonny has taught me is that it’s always good to “give back” to the community. This is why I decided a couple of years ago that I would make a list to help a part of the community that really needs it. I, of course, am talking about dumb crooks. Before we get to the list, I want to make it clear that we at I’m just sayin… do not think crime is “cool” and we do not condone criminal behavior. Still, while serving my community on the Grand Jury I had a front row seat to just how stupid some people are. Even if they were to follow my advice, these people were so dumb that I’m sure the police would still catch them (they just might have to work to do it). As Ron White said, you can’t fix stupid. So, here are the…

TEN THINGS I LEARNED ON THE GRAND JURY

• Always work alone

• Never admit you did it. NEVER

• Leave your cell phone at home

• If you have drugs, stay away from schools

• Keep drugs hidden in your trunk

• Know when to hold ‘em, know when to fold ‘em, know when to walk away and know when to run

• Don’t do your drugs in your car… wait until you get home

• Don’t agree to anything… cops will call your bluff

• Don’t steal from people who know you… it’s too easy for them to identify you

• When fleeing from the cops, make sure you go more than 3 miles into the next jurisdiction

BONUS: Wear a mask, wear gloves, don’t use your ID (honestly people… THINK!)

I trust all of you had a great Easter. I packed up The Wife and the little ones and went to The Lake for a nice relaxing weekend (by the way, a big thanks goes out to my cousin Alan for watching my house and dogs for me). The good news is this really was a relaxing weekend at The Lake and not a work weekend. The bad news is we got there late Thursday night and, as I quickly found out, the “weekend” doesn’t start at The Lake until late Friday afternoon. So there I was, the only child there to help Dad and Jim as they worked on the cabana they are building. As you know, I am not what you would call “skilled labor”. Still, I was told to screw these massive wooden beams together (more on these later) with nothing but a socket wrench and my own strength (so pretty much just a socket wrench). It took roughly 5,000 reps for these screws to go all the way in. I had to do this about 10-12 times. This is part of the reason I haven’t posted any this week (I’m just getting feeling back in my right arm). But that was just part of the job. The other thing I had to do was lift these beams up to Dad and Jim (these are the beams that will support the roof… at least in theory… we’ll see). These beams were solid wood weighed roughly 4 tons. There were some beams that I would have to hold in place while Dad and Jim tried to decide if it was level or straight or slanted the right way. They had a string that they had tied up there that they were using to make sure everything lined up right. So there they were trying to get this 4 ton beam (that I’m still holding) to line up juuuussssttttt right with this stupid little string. I think at one point I yelled “Just move the damn string!”

Here are a few pictures from the weekend:

While others looked for Easter Eggs... Susie was going after Easter Grass


Me and Mary Ruth in the hot tub

The whole family.  The best part of this picture (for me) is that Sonny and I were already sitting in the rocking chairs when it was decided we needed to take a family picture.  We said, "Fine... everyone gather around us"... and they DID!  How great is THAT.  And yes, that is a Piggly Wiggly shirt I am wearing.  Why?  Because I dig The Pig.  For those who want to know... Front Row: Susie, Ansley (NNT), Mary Ruth, Leah (NNT), Meredith (NNT), Allison (S), Austin (S).  Second Row (seated): Dad, Me, Sonny.  Back Row: Mom, The Wife, Daniel, No Name Teri, Brent (NNT), Susan (cousin), Terry (S).  fyi... NNT = in No Name Teri's branch of the tree; S = in Sonny's branch of the tree.

The car ride home was an adventure. If you ever have the chance to take an extended road trip with three children 5 and under, don’t. We got lucky on the way there and had a pretty good ride. Not so much on the way back. Around Orangeburg MR had a meltdown (we didn’t have the Dora movie she wanted to watch). It got bad. Real bad. At one point she was screaming for me to look at her (The Wife was driving at the time) and it caused Susie to start crying for me to look at her. So now both are crying/screaming and Daniel starts to cry so now I’m pissed off. I snap my head around to look back there (intending to yell at them for waking Daniel up), but as soon as I turned around Susie got this big cheesy grin on her face (still with tears in her eyes) and said “DaDa”. She then gave MR a confused look (I guess she thought getting me to turn around was the endgame). I turned back around quickly to keep them from seeing me laugh. When I looked back again, Susie was asleep sucking her fingers. Mary Ruth continued to cry/scream the whole way home. Next time, I’ll remember to bring all of her movies.

I don’t know if this is a true story about what happened to the cult when they tried to protest in Mississippi… but I sure hope it is.

Congrats to the James Island High School Baseball team on their Region Championship.  Good luck in the playoffs.  Go Trojans!

As you know, May is the I’m just sayin… Month of Music. Therefore, I will use each day in May to unveil the I’m just sayin… Top 1,081 Songs of All-Time (not including Religious songs, hard core Hip-Hop songs, and possibly some other genre’s that I just don’t like… or songs I forgot about). Before we get to this list, there is something you have to understand… there is a good chance a song you like is not on the list (yes, even with that many songs on the list I'm sure some good ones were still left off). There is also a good chance that a song you don’t like is on the list. There is also a great chance that you won’t agree with where songs are ranked. This is ok. You are welcome to disagree with this list. I don’t agree with all of it. Even I am shocked that some groups/artists got more songs on the list than others.  I wish I could just have it be the way I want it, but it was a group effort. Everyone here at I’m just sayin… got a vote. We tried our best to a) Not leave any worthy song off the list and b) list these songs in a respectable order. There is a good chance we failed at both (though we hope we did a good job). We probably spent more time on this than we should have… but we’ll do anything for our fans. So check back and be sure to let me know what you think (unless you hate it… if you hate it, keep your thoughts to yourself).

Know Your Medal of Honor Recipients:

Boatswain’s Mate Charles Bradley (US Navy) received his Medal of Honor for his actions during the Civil War on board the USS Louisville. His citation reads:

Served on board the U.S.S. Louisville. Carrying out his duties through the thick of battle and acting as captain of a 9-inch gun, Bradley consistently showed, "Attention to duty, bravery, and coolness in action against the enemy."

Chief Gunner’s Mate George Bradley (US Navy) received his Medal of Honor for his actions during 1914 at Vera Cruz. His citation reads:

For meritorious service under fire on the occasion of the landing of the American naval forces at Vera Cruz in 1914. C.G. Bradley was then attached to the U.S.S. Utah, as a chief gunner's mate, and was in charge of the ammunition party and special details at Vera Cruz.

Sergeant Thomas W. Bradley (US Army) received his Medal of Honor for his actions on May 3, 1863 at Chancellorsville, Virginia. His citation reads:

Volunteered in response to a call and alone, in the face of a heavy fire of musketry and canister, went and procured ammunition for the use of his comrades.

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