Disclaimer

If you do not know me (I mean, really know me) then there is something you need to understand before you read this blog: I value the truth above everything else... except a good laugh. A good laugh will almost always beat the truth as far as I’m concerned. Everything you read on this blog will be true, somewhat true, or something I made up in an effort to get a laugh. Sometimes I will go on a rant that I don’t really mean (or only kind of mean). Sometimes I will mean what I write only to completely change my mind a year, month, or day later. Such is life. By reading this blog you agree not to get offended by anything I write (or, at the very least, you agree not to tell me or anyone else that you are offended). It is worth noting that my employer does not endorse my blog (or even read it, to tell you the truth). The Wife also does not endorse my blog (though she will read it from time to time). I am not paid to write this... it’s just my way of giving back to the community. I have, and will, touch on a wide range of subjects and will give my opinion on these subjects. Again, most of what I say is for laughs but every now and then I will say what I really think and feel (see my views on Westboro Baptist Cult). How will you know when I’m serious and when I’m trying to get a laugh? You’ll know. And if you don’t know, well... maybe this isn’t the best thing for you to be reading. So, sit back, read and enjoy. Leave comments if you want and don’t be afraid to publicly follow me.



Friday, June 17, 2011

Ok, this part's gonna hurt

We have a policy here at I'm just sayin... that we will share everything with you (as long as we think it might make you laugh).  It is with this policy in mind that I have decided to tell you about what I went through late yesterday afternoon.  You see, I had an appointment yesterday at 4:30pm for a... "procedure" (that's what the dr.'s office called it when they called to confirm my appointment).  I like to call it my extreme guarantee that we won't have another baby at the "hospital" (their word, not mine) that I hate so much.  Anyway, The Wife wanted me to have this done because, it seems, taking a little pill everyday is just too much for me to ask of her.  Here's an idea for some drug company out there wanting to make a little $$$... come up with a pill for men to take and then give them the choice between that and this "procedure".  Profits will soar.  But I digress...

So The Wife and I got to the doctor's office at 4:00 so she could fill out all of the paperwork that they gave to me to fill out.  I was a little worried that we were going at the end of the day.  As Sonny said to me, "Just hope you don't get the LeBron of doctors!" (i.e., someone who chokes in the 4th quarter of the big game).  That Sonny... he sure knows how to make his little brother relax before something like this.  If I was worried about a 4:30 appointment, imagine how I felt when I wasn't called back until the clock hit 6:00.  The thing that put me at ease was when the doctor told me he has 3 kids (12 year old twins and a 10 year old)... I figured there was no way he would be in a rush to get home to that.  Anyway, we talked and he joked enough to put me at ease (but not so much that I thought I had some doctor trying out for Comedy Central). 

I won't give you a blow by blow account of what happened during the "procedure" (if you really want to know, you can ask me).  I'll just say that 3 things got me through it... thinking about not having to use that "hospital" again, thinking about what I was going to put on here and most importantly, thinking about what I was going to say when I called Sonny.  The call went something like this:

Ring, ring, ring...

Sonny (in a far too happy voice): "Hey! So how did it go!"

Me: "You sonofabitch!"

Sonny: (hard laughter... and far too much of it)

Me: "I knew I was in trouble when the doctor said, 'Ok, this part's gonna hurt'".

Sonny: (more hard laughter)

That Sonny... he sure knows how to make his little brother feel better after a "procedure" like this.

The Wife was kind enough to drive me home.  She was also mean enough to hit every pothole between the doctors office and our house.  Every.  Single. Pothole.  She claims she didn't mean to do it.  Her laughter after hitting each one leads me to believe that perhaps she really did mean to.

That's all for now.  We aren't going to have our regular Medal of Honor section today.  It will return after Father's Day.

2 comments:

  1. I know it doesn't compare and for anyone reading this I am grateful for you service to this great Nation and I am not diminishing your service but Greg, you are my Medal of Honor recipient of the day. If I had a blog, I would post it there.

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  2. I guess this is too late now, but perhaps if you were in India:

    http://www.wired.com/magazine/2011/04/ff_vasectomy/all/1

    Oh and happy father's day!

    ReplyDelete