Disclaimer

If you do not know me (I mean, really know me) then there is something you need to understand before you read this blog: I value the truth above everything else... except a good laugh. A good laugh will almost always beat the truth as far as I’m concerned. Everything you read on this blog will be true, somewhat true, or something I made up in an effort to get a laugh. Sometimes I will go on a rant that I don’t really mean (or only kind of mean). Sometimes I will mean what I write only to completely change my mind a year, month, or day later. Such is life. By reading this blog you agree not to get offended by anything I write (or, at the very least, you agree not to tell me or anyone else that you are offended). It is worth noting that my employer does not endorse my blog (or even read it, to tell you the truth). The Wife also does not endorse my blog (though she will read it from time to time). I am not paid to write this... it’s just my way of giving back to the community. I have, and will, touch on a wide range of subjects and will give my opinion on these subjects. Again, most of what I say is for laughs but every now and then I will say what I really think and feel (see my views on Westboro Baptist Cult). How will you know when I’m serious and when I’m trying to get a laugh? You’ll know. And if you don’t know, well... maybe this isn’t the best thing for you to be reading. So, sit back, read and enjoy. Leave comments if you want and don’t be afraid to publicly follow me.



Thursday, May 24, 2012

Thankful Thursday...

Know Your Medal of Honor Recipients:

Sergeant Arhtur J. Forrest (US Army) received his Medal of Honor for his actions on November 1, 1918, near Remonville, France. His citation reads:

When the advance of his company was stopped by bursts of fire from a nest of 6 enemy machineguns, without being discovered, he worked his way single-handed to a point within 50 yards of the machinegun nest. Charging, single-handed, he drove out the enemy in disorder, thereby protecting the advance platoon from annihilating fire, and permitting the resumption of the advance of his company.

Sergeant Bruno Albert Forsterer (US Marine Corps) received his Medal of Honor for his actions on April 1, 1899, at Samoa, Philippine Islands. His citation reads:

For distinguished conduct in the presence of the enemy at Samoa, Philippine Islands, 1 April 1899.

First Sergeant Thomas H. Forsyth (US Army) received his Medal of Honor for his actions on November 25, 1876, at Powder River, Wyoming. His citation reads:

Though dangerously wounded, he maintained his ground with a small party against a largely superior force after his commanding officer had been shot down during a sudden attack and rescued that officer and a comrade from the enemy.


KC from Our Life’s Top 5 Movies

5. Saving Private Ryan

4. The Hangover

3. Brian’s Song

2. American Pie

1. Caddyshack

The I’m just sayin… Top 2,613 Movies of All-Time Countdown

300 Transformers: Dark of the Moon
Michael Bay
Shia LaBeouf, Josh Duhamel, John Turturro, Tyrese Gibson, Rosie Huntington-Whiteley, Patrick Dempsey, Kevin Dunn, Julie White, with John Malkovich and Frances McDormand
2011

299 Bonnie and Clyde
Arthur Penn
Warren Beatty, Faye Dunaway, Gene Hackman, Estelle Parsons, Michael J. Pollard
1967

298 Cars
Joe Ranft, John Lasseter
Paul Newman, Owen Wilson, Larry the Cable Guy, Tony Shalhoub, Bonnie Hunt
2006

297 Citizen Kane
Orson Welles
Orson Welles, Joseph Cotten
1941

296 Enter the Dragon
Robert Clouse
Bruce Lee, John Saxon, Jim Kelly
1973

295 Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets
Chris Columbus
Daniel Radcliffe, Rupert Grint, Emma Watson, Robbie Coltrane, Alan Rickman, Maggie Smith, Richard Harris, Kenneth Branagh
2002

294 Up
Pete Docter, Bob Peterson
Edward Asner, Jordan Nagai, Paul Eiding, Christopher Plummer, Bob Peterson[disambiguation needed ]
2009
Carl Fredricksen: "This is crazy. I finally meet my childhood hero and he's trying to kill us. What a joke".
Dug: "Hey, I know a joke! A squirrel walks up to a tree and says, "I forgot to store acorns for the winter and now I am dead." Ha! It is funny because the squirrel gets dead".

293 Friends with Benefits
Will Gluck
Justin Timberlake, Mila Kunis, Patricia Clarkson, Jenna Elfman, Bryan Greenberg, Richard Jenkins, Woody Harrelson, Emma Stone, Nolan Gould, Jason Segel, Rashida Jones, Andy Samberg, Shaun White
2011

292 The Turning Point
Herbert Ross
Shirley MacLaine, Anne Bancroft, Mikhail Baryshnikov
1977

291 Get Him to the Greek
Nicholas Stoller
Jonah Hill, Russell Brand, Elisabeth Moss, Rose Byrne, Colm Meaney, Sean Combs
2010
Sergio Roma: "You can't outrun me! I'm black!"

Aldous Snow: "What you did was very spiteful, but it was also very brave and very honest and I respect you for doing that. But the content of what you said has made me hate you. So there's a layer of respect, admittedly, for your truthfulness, but it's peppered with hate. Hateful respect".


290 Can-Can
Walter Lang
Frank Sinatra, Shirley MacLaine, Maurice Chevalier
1960

289 The Longest Yard
Peter Segal
Adam Sandler, Burt Reynolds, Chris Rock
2005

288 Sixteen Candles
John Hughes
Molly Ringwald, Anthony Michael Hall, Michael Schoeffling, Justin Henry, Gedde Watanabe, Blanche Baker, Haviland Morris
1984

287 Good Morning, Vietnam
Barry Levinson
Robin Williams, Robert Wuhl, Forest Whitaker
1987
Adrian Cronauer: "Goooooooood morning, Vietnam! Hey, this is not a test! This is rock and roll! Time to rock it from the Delta to the D.M.Z.!"

Adrian Cronauer: "What's the demilitarized zone? It sounds like something from the Wizard of Oz 'Oh no don't go in there!' 'Ohhh wee ohh. Ho Chi Minh.' 'Oh look you've landed in Saigon. You're amongst the little people now.' 'We represent the ARVN army, the ARVN army. Oh no! Follow the Ho Chi Minh trail! Follow the Ho Chi Minh trail!'"

Adrian Cronauer: "Five months in Vietnam, and my best friend is a V.C. THIS WILL NOT LOOK GOOD ON A RESUMÈ!"

Adrian Cronauer: "Goooooooood morning Vietnam! It's 0600 hours. What does the "O" stand for? O my God, it's early!"

286 Julius Caesar
David Bradley
Harold Tasker, Charlton Heston
1950

285 Two for the Seesaw
Robert Wise
Robert Mitchum, Shirley MacLaine
1962

284 Mr. Deeds
Steven Brill
Adam Sandler, Winona Ryder, John Turturro, Peter Gallagher
2002
Babe: "You must be Jan. My name is…"
Jan: "I know who you are. Wham-Bam Dawson, a.k.a. Little Miss Slut-slut".
Babe: "Okay, I deserved that…"
Jan: "Do you have any idea how much you hurt him? You're not getting anywhere near that boy".
Babe: "I have to find him, and there's nothing you can do to stop me".
Jan: [rolls up her sleeves] "There's a lot I can do to stop you".
Babe: "He needs to know how bad I feel, and I would go to the end of the earth, I would do anything, *anything*, to take back what I did to him".
Jan: "...I'm sorry? All I heard was, 'blah blah blah, I'm a dirty tramp'".

Emilio: "I fear you are underestimating the sneakiness, sir".

Longfellow Deeds: "Whoa, you kinda snuck up on me there..."
Emilio: "I am very very sneaky, sir".

283 The Dangerous Lives of Altar Boys
Peter Care
Emile Hirsch, Kieran Culkin, Jena Malone, Jodie Foster, Chandler McIntyre
2002
Naturalist: "The head of the sexually aroused adult gobbler can change into a variety of shades of red, white and blue. Yeah, it's a very patriotic bird".

Naturalist: "That's a very thoughtful question…"

282 Turner & Hooch
Roger Spottiswoode
Tom Hanks, Mare Winningham, Craig T. Nelson, J. C. Quinn, Reginald VelJohnson
1989
Emily Carson: "Well, it's a nice night, and I have to walk Camille. Do you want to take a walk with me?"
Scott Turner: "No. No. Well, you see, I'm starting to like you, and if we're going to walk I'm just going to like you even more, and then one day we might even end up in love and everything will go on fine for a while, but-but then one day *bang* you're gonna call me a selfish compulsive bastard! You're gonna pull your hair, you're gonna scream and you're gonna say you never want to see me again because I drive you crazy, and I'm left shattered. Now, who needs that? Good night!"

281 Cast Away
Robert Zemeckis
Tom Hanks, Helen Hunt
2000
Chuck Noland: "WILSON!"

280 The Caine Mutiny
Edward Dmytryk
Humphrey Bogart, José Ferrer, Van Johnson, Fred MacMurray, Robert Francis, E.G. Marshall, Lee Marvin
1954

279 High Society
Charles Walters
Grace Kelly, Bing Crosby, Frank Sinatra
1956

278 Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home
Leonard Nimoy
William Shatner, Leonard Nimoy, James Doohan, Nichelle Nichols, George Takei, Catherine Hicks
1986
[Spock is still learning how to use profanity correctly]
Spock: "They like you very much, but they are not the hell 'your' whales".
Dr. Gillian Taylor: "I suppose they told you that".
Spock: "The hell they did".

[Chekov is being interrogated]
FBI agent interrogating Chekov: "Name".
Chekov: "My name?"
FBI agent interrogating Chekov: [sarcastically] "No, my name".
Chekov: "I do not know your name".
FBI agent interrogating Chekov: "You play games with me, Mister, and you're through".
Chekov: "I am? May I go now?"

277 Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone
Chris Columbus
Daniel Radcliffe, Rupert Grint, Emma Watson, Richard Harris, Maggie Smith, Robbie Coltrane
2001

276 Damn Yankees
Stanley Donen, George Abbott
Tab Hunter, Gwen Verdon, Ray Walston
1958
Mr. Applegate: "Wives! They cause me more trouble than the Methodist church".

Van Buren: [singing] "You've gotta have heart, / All you really need is heart./ When the odds are sayin' you'll never win /That's when the grin should start".

Ballplayers: "So what the heck's the use of cryin'? / Why should we curse? / We gotta get better / 'cause we can't get worse!"

275 The Exorcist
William Friedkin
Ellen Burstyn, Linda Blair, Jason Miller, Max von Sydow, Lee J. Cobb
1973

274 Taken
Pierre Morel
Liam Neeson, Famke Janssen, Maggie Grace
2008
Bryan: "I don't know who you are. I don't know what you want. If you are looking for ransom, I can tell you I don't have money. But what I do have are a very particular set of skills; skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you let my daughter go now, that'll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you. But if you don't, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will kill you".

273 Taps
Harold Becker
George C. Scott, Timothy Hutton, Sean Penn, Tom Cruise
1981

272 Some Came Running
Vincente Minnelli
Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin, Shirley MacLaine
1958

271 The Pink Panther
Shawn Levy
Steve Martin, Beyoncé Knowles
2006

270 Gentlemen Prefer Blondes
Howard Hawks
Marilyn Monroe, Jane Russell
1953

269 The Cutting Edge
Paul Michael Glaser
D. B. Sweeney, Moira Kelly
1992
Kate: "It's Christmas and we skate. I have the flu and we skate. I have a boyfriend in London that I never see. I skate every day for you, so that you can play Dr. Frankenstein with this guy. I show up every morning for seven months so that you can give him two days to go off whoring in New York City?"
Anton: "Is not entirely correct".
[pause]
Anton: "He went to Boston".

Kate: "Toe pick!"

268 Diary of a Mad Black Woman
Darren Grant
Kimberly Elise, Steve Harris, Shemar Moore, Cicely Tyson, Tyler Perry
2005
Brenda: "I know Tae Kwan Do".
Madea: "And I know whoop your ass".

267 Pretty in Pink
Howard Deutch
Molly Ringwald, Andrew McCarthy, Jon Cryer, Harry Dean Stanton, Annie Potts, James Spader
1986

266 18 Again!
Paul Flaherty
George Burns, Charlie Schlatter, Tony Roberts
1988

265 Police Academy 2: Their First Assignment
Jerry Paris
Steven Guttenberg, Bubba Smith, David Graf
1985

264 Cobra
George P. Cosmatos
Sylvester Stallone, Brigitte Nielsen
1986
Marion Cobretti [before dropping a lit match on a bad guy who was covered in gasoline] : "You have the right to remain silent".

263 My Fair Lady
George Cukor
Audrey Hepburn, Rex Harrison
1964

262 See No Evil, Hear No Evil
Arthur Hiller
Gene Wilder, Richard Pryor, Joan Severance, Kevin Spacey
1989

261 Postcards from the Edge
Mike Nichols
Meryl Streep, Dennis Quaid, Shirley MacLaine, Gene Hackman
1990

260 Sergeant York
Howard Hawks
Gary Cooper, Walter Brennan
1941

259 The Great Outdoors
Howard Deutch
Dan Aykroyd, John Candy, Annette Bening
1988
Chet: "Bear... bear... Big Bear... big bear chase meeeeeeee...!"

258 Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire
Mike Newell
Daniel Radcliffe, Rupert Grint, Emma Watson, Michael Gambon, Maggie Smith, Alan Rickman, Gary Oldman, Robbie Coltrane, Robert Pattinson, Ralph Fiennes
2005

257 All in a Night's Work
Joseph Anthony
Dean Martin, Shirley MacLaine, Cliff Robertson
1961

256 Ghost
Jerry Zucker
Demi Moore, Patrick Swayze, Whoopi Goldberg
1990

255 Billy Madison
Tamra Davis
Adam Sandler, Bridgette Wilson, Darren McGavin
1995
Principal: "Mr. Madison, what you've just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul".

254 Meet the Parents
Jay Roach
Ben Stiller, Robert DeNiro, Blythe Danner, Teri Polo, Owen Wilson
2000

253 No Time for Sergeants
Mervyn LeRoy
Andy Griffith, Nick Adams, Myron McCormick, Murray Hamilton, Will Hutchins, Dub Taylor, Don Knotts
1958
Sergeant King: "Why ain't you dead?"
Will Stockdale: "No excuse, sir!"

Benjamin B. Whitledge: "Our post was the tail of the plane and nobody told us to quit it!"
Will Stockdale: "But the tail was on fire, Ben! Our post was a-quittin' us!"

252 El Cid
Anthony Mann
Charlton Heston, Sophia Loren, Raf Vallone, Geneviève Page
1961

251 Star Trek III: The Search for Spock
Leonard Nimoy
William Shatner, Leonard Nimoy, George Takei
1984
Sulu: "The word, sir?"
Kirk: "The word is no. I am therefore going anyway".

Kirk: "You're suffering from a Vulcan mind-meld, doctor".
McCoy: "That green-blooded son of a bitch! It's his revenge for all the arguments he lost".

Kirk: "Klingon Commander, This is Admiral James T. Kirk. I'm alive and well on the planet surface. I know that this will come as a pleasant surprise to you, but our ship was a victim of an ‘unfortunate accident’. Sorry about your crew, but as we say on Earth, c'est la vie".


Thankful Thursday

Today I am thankful for Memorial Day… specifically, I am thankful for holidays that honor fallen soldiers. They deserve it. The holiday came about when Yankees… err… the Federal Government decided to start honoring the fallen Union soldiers the way Southerners had been honoring the fallen Confederate soldiers. I am not one of these people who believes war is fun or should be taken lightly. Wars are ugly, painful things that should not be rushed into… but I don’t believe they should be avoided at all costs. Life would be great if people could just live and let live… But I’m going to tell you something you probably already know: This world is full of bad people. And that’s why I believe the US should always have a strong military. Of course, I doubt my feelings here come as a shock to anyone… what with the Know Your Medal of Honor Recipients section on this blog. But just as important as having a strong military, I think it is important to remember and honor those who have died serving this country.

Some quick research on Wikipedia on this holiday brought up this little nugget: On Memorial Day the flag is raised briskly to the top of the staff and then solemnly lowered to the half-staff position, where it remains only until noon. It is then raised to full-staff for the remainder of the day. The half-staff position remembers the more than one million men and women who gave their lives in service of their country. At noon their memory is raised by the living, who resolve not to let their sacrifice be in vain, but to rise up in their stead and continue the fight for liberty and justice for all.

Think about that this Monday. I’m not saying to have to go to parades or visit the graves to fallen soldiers. I’m just saying at some point this Monday, take a minute to remember. Just stop for a minute to remember the people who died serving this country. Maybe it was in a “good” war… maybe it was in a war you didn’t agree with. I can’t say for sure, but I’d be willing to be most people getting shot at would rather be fishing… or at a ball game… or on a college campus. Which is why I don’t understand how people could treat Vietnam Vets the way I’ve read and heard that they did… or, more recently, how the Westboro Baptist Cult can do what they do. But I’ll save that for another day… Today, I’m glad we have men and women willing to fight and die for our country… sometimes I wish politicians would do a better job using them… but that doesn’t change the fact that I am glad we have them. And I am thankful we have a national holiday that honors, and helps us remember, them.

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