Disclaimer

If you do not know me (I mean, really know me) then there is something you need to understand before you read this blog: I value the truth above everything else... except a good laugh. A good laugh will almost always beat the truth as far as I’m concerned. Everything you read on this blog will be true, somewhat true, or something I made up in an effort to get a laugh. Sometimes I will go on a rant that I don’t really mean (or only kind of mean). Sometimes I will mean what I write only to completely change my mind a year, month, or day later. Such is life. By reading this blog you agree not to get offended by anything I write (or, at the very least, you agree not to tell me or anyone else that you are offended). It is worth noting that my employer does not endorse my blog (or even read it, to tell you the truth). The Wife also does not endorse my blog (though she will read it from time to time). I am not paid to write this... it’s just my way of giving back to the community. I have, and will, touch on a wide range of subjects and will give my opinion on these subjects. Again, most of what I say is for laughs but every now and then I will say what I really think and feel (see my views on Westboro Baptist Cult). How will you know when I’m serious and when I’m trying to get a laugh? You’ll know. And if you don’t know, well... maybe this isn’t the best thing for you to be reading. So, sit back, read and enjoy. Leave comments if you want and don’t be afraid to publicly follow me.



Tuesday, July 3, 2012

Thoughts from the Weekend…

Know Your Medal of Honor Recipients:

Private Joseph Gion (US Army) received his Medal of Honor for his actions on May 2, 1863, at Chancellorsville, Virginia. His citation reads:

Voluntarily and under heavy fire advanced toward the enemy's lines and secured valuable information.

Seaman Alphonse Girandy (US Navy) received his Medal of Honor for his actions on March 31, 1901, on board the USS Petrel. His citation reads:

Serving on board the U.S.S. Petrel, for heroism and gallantry, fearlessly exposing his own life to danger for the saving of others, on the occasion of the fire on board that vessel, 31 March 1901.

Electrician Third Class Edward A. Gisburne (US Navy) received his Medal of Honor for his actions on April 21-22, 1914, on board the USS Florida. His citation reads:

On board the U.S.S. Florida during the seizure of Vera Cruz, Mexico, 21 and 22 April 1914, and for extraordinary heroism in the line of his profession during this action.




Happy Anniversary to Maverick!  We brought him home 8 years ago today.

Funny story I forgot to tell yesterday.  Me, The Wife and Mary Ruth were driving through Clemson and had a conversation that went like this:

Me:  "Hey Mary Ruth, Daddy almost went to school here".

Mary Ruth:  "Really?"

Me:  "Yep.  I came real close to coming here, but then I would have never met Uncle Jeremy".

The Wife:  "Or me!"

Me:  "Oh yeah, or Mommy".

(Pause)

Me:  "Still, I like to think that even if I'd come here we would have somehow met".

Mary Ruth: "You and Mommy?"

Me:  "No, me and Uncle Jeremy".

(Glare from The Wife)

Me:  "Well yeah, and Mommy too, of course".

Before we get to the pictures, I want to share some thoughts from this past weekend:


Can brides please stop with all of this “our” day foolishness? Everyone knows it’s her day. Don’t believe me? Think about it...


In almost all situations, the most important person enters last. So let’s look at a wedding… typically, the Groom walks out with the preacher and Best Man first. The last person to enter (to much fanfare, I might add) is the Bride. Next to last is the Maid/Matron of Honor… meaning the Bride’s best friend is more important to this whole thing than the Groom.


The Bride usually buys a fancy white dress that costs hundreds of dollars. Her Bridesmaids usually have to buy less pretty dresses which also usually cost over a hundred dollars and are in colors that are not close to white, leaving no doubt who the Bride is. Even if, by some stroke of luck, the Bridesmaids have dresses that don’t look bad, they still only wear them once. The role of the Bridesmaids is to make the Bride look pretty. The Maid/Matron of Honor is there to make sure the Bride’s dress looks perfect throughout the whole ceremony.


The Groom, Best Man and Groomsmen all rent tuxes that look the same. This is for a number of reasons, the first being the Bride does not want the Groom to stand out because that might draw attention away from her. The other reason, is that the Groom knows that he does not have enough friends willing to pay money to buy something they’ll only wear once. God help the Groom who picks a tux that costs more than normal because it will keep his Groomsmen “cool” in the July 12th heat only to have it be just as hot as a cheap tux because in a 1,000 degree humid heat nothing will keep you “cool”… because he’ll never hear the end of it from his Groomsman who goes on to have a successful blog. The role of the Best Man is to have a car with a full tank of gas, a clean passport, and enough cash on hand to last 3 months should there be a need to get the Groom out of there fast and keep him off the grid for awhile. This is also where everyone wearing the same thing comes into play… it makes it easier for the Groomsmen to distract everyone, giving the Groom and Best Man time to get to the car.


Have you ever looked at the faces of the wedding party during the wedding? The Bridesmaids are all smiling at how sweet everything is. The Groomsmen are making all kinds of deals with God if he could just keep them from throwing up during the ceremony. Usually, tears are shed on the Bride’s side of the wedding party… Groomsmen don’t cry. Which is kind of odd, because it’s the Groomsmen who are losing a friend… the Bridesmaids are keeping a friend who now has another source of income. Sonny did have a Groomsman tear up during “his” wedding. I would have said something at the time, but the guy (let’s call him “Eddie”, because that’s his name) was a lot bigger than me (I was only in the 8th grade at the time). If I had been as big then as I am now, I would have stopped the ceremony and calmly told him to go put on a dress and stand with the Bridesmaids. Cougar would have probably killed me, but Sonny would have laughed (Why? Because it was her day, not his).


The Bride usually has a long list of things that she is stressed about before the wedding. The Groom only has to worry about what time to get there (and he typically has someone around to tell him when/where to go… so he really has nothing to think about). The funny thing about this stress on the Bride, is that it is all her own doing. It seems the Groom understands something the Bride doesn’t… the wedding can be as stressful or as stress free as you want it to be.


Of course, I think we can all agree that weddings are better with the Bride planning them… no telling what kind of train wreck they would be if the Groom was in charge.


As you will see in one of the below pictures, there was a portrait of the Bride at the reception (something I’ve seen at most weddings). No pictures of the Groom could be found.


This last thought isn’t so much Bride/Groom… but has to do with the difference between men and women when it comes to dancing. I’ve been to a good many wedding receptions and I can say I’ve never seen two guys want to dance so bad that they get out on the dance floor and dance together. Girls do it all the time.


I think I covered everything. If I think of anything else, I’ll be sure to let you know. For now, enjoy the pictures from this past weekend. They are not in any kind of order.  Sorry about the video quality… it’s hard to take a video with my phone in a church while trying to look like I’m not taking a video with my phone in a church.




Picture Tuesday


Me and Mary Ruth dancing the night away.  Not sure how bad it was to watch, but we had fun.




The Bride the night before her big day!

Susan and Sonny

Mary Ruth with Susan

Wait a second!  How did this get in here?!  I'm not sure what that was... all I remember is The Wife talking about how she was fine "until that last one".  Oh wait, I'm thinking about last year's Hootie concert.  Haha.  But really, how many of you (allegedly) did shots with your wedding director the night before the wedding?

Me and Susan sharing a moment of reflection.

The Wife and Susan


I see the Bride... but which one is the Groom?

Even the Father of the Bride is dressed like the Groom... I didn't see the Mother of the Groom dressed like the Bride.

I think this was right around the time Uncle George gave Susan away.  Here's a question... If you give the Bride away, can you take that off on your taxes (like you do other donations)?  It's just a thought...

Now we see all the Groom's friends have left him... that is the kind of power the Bride has on her day.


I think this proves one of my points. 

The cake...

Mary Ruth, Susan and others doing the wobble.

The day after... Mary Ruth with a tiger.

And another tiger...

From the night before... a couple of a-holes tried to take a picture without me.

The Wedding Director using the whistle I gave her.  That's my girl!

Me and Teresa Lynn the day after the wedding






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